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BabyV83's favorite FMLs
Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML
by Verbex / 05/28/2009 at 6:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML
by your_mother / 05/13/2009 at 11:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML
by lostintellct / 05/11/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
by Byron fiddles / 02/24/2009 at 6:57am / Hungary (Budapest) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
by scatter00x / 02/08/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Utah) / Love
- Today, at 16, I had my first swimming lesson. I have to do it for physiotherapy and really didn't… Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he's unhappy with his life. He's basically with me because I… Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…