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BabyV83's favorite FMLs
by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by hahanosirr / 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2010 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML
by toyotasmash / 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm / Brazil (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Work
by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML
by notworthit / 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
by AussieGirl / 11/21/2009 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
by redisnotmycolor / 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by JJ / 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML
by sick / 09/30/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Illinois) / Health