About BVBfan : Hey. I'm Trina. I love reading FML. I'm a 17 year old girl and pretty friendly. I love ppl who are sarcastic on here like perdix and docbastard. :)
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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BVBfan's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML
by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by anon / 07/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by how / 07/25/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML
by ouch / 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by trees / 07/24/2013 at 12:44pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by Aggressive / 07/24/2013 at 9:12am / Ireland (Dublin) / Holidays
by cheekychimp23 / 07/24/2013 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
by Suomynona / 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm / Germany (Hamburg) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids
by O_O / 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
by ElodieUNU / 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm / France / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…