Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BVBarmy_girl

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

BVBarmy_girl

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3194
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About BVBarmy_girl : Let's keep it simple, eh? - I love climbing! - I love food! - I love music! (Mostly rock) - I love watching series! (Everything from The Walking Dead to Pokemon!) - And I love reading & writing, taking pictures and talking to new people!

BVBarmy_girl's page activity

Visits<b>itisasher</b> - 40 minutes ago<b>lil_jimmy</b> - 21 hours ago<b>bigcurrymonster</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:17am<b>pinkgreenyellow</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:28am<b>Isak366</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:38am<b>aruden</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:13am<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:10pm<b>connortheconifer</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:18pm<b>ItsStratos</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:16pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:42am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:29am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:14am<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:45pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:50pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:33am<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:37pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:21am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>ItsStratos</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:16pm

BVBarmy_girl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of BVBarmy_girl's badges

BVBarmy_girl's favorite FMLs

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47855) - you deserved it (3290)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42987) - you deserved it (6417)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (59884)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (13750)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (5908)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50652) - you deserved it (6609)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (19463)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46669) - you deserved it (6036)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31598) - you deserved it (2467)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (5996)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10574) - you deserved it (41376)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46255) - you deserved it (2760)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: