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Offline (the 08/11/2014 at 4:10pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3126
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BTF989 : I am a pirate.

BTF989's page activity

Visits<b>teepeegirl</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 9:00pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:42am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:37am<b>gogators941</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:43pm<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:27pm<b>hxnnxh</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:19pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:38pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Role448</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:42pm<b>awiseman</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:31pm<b>xHoiHoi</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:40pm<b>Chixxapow</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:09pm<b>shudson186</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:23am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:13am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:38am<b>heythisisme02</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:25am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:44am

BTF989's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of BTF989's badges

BTF989's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11301) - you deserved it (75490)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by ohseven6421 - United States (California)

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11326) - you deserved it (31327)

On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (8321)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (35431)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (3702)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (96186)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (4423)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML


I agree, your life sucks (152281) - you deserved it (11234)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62687) - you deserved it (6147)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (45388)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML


I agree, your life sucks (226806) - you deserved it (24936)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (84038)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML


I agree, your life sucks (74905) - you deserved it (26782)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

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