B5B0N35

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Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 5:14am)

B5B0N35

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 9763
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

B5B0N35's page activity

Visits<b>fidoyal</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Andrmelon</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:15pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:40pm<b>senorunicorn</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:25am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 9:43pm<b>riversong2000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:35am<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:03am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:10pm<b>n_g97</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:08am<b>Kikiers21042</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:23am<b>ILoveMyArm</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:37pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:40pm<b>swaggincats</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:29pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:21am<b>ssshnmama5</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:26pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:16pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:02pm

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

by fineillpissthebedthen / 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

by shaviTuT / 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm / Malaysia (Johor) / Animals

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

by frustrated! / 02/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

by jdrew32 / 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 11:27am / Serbia / Intimacy

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

by footfetish / 02/02/2013 at 6:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous