B5B0N35

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Offline (the 08/27/2016 at 9:07pm)

B5B0N35

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10816
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

B5B0N35's page activity

Visits<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 10:01pm<b>chicken_dip</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 3:18am<b>AnonTurtle</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:12pm<b>theinfiniteend</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 2:03pm<b>fidoyal</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Andrmelon</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:15pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:40pm<b>senorunicorn</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:25am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 9:43pm<b>riversong2000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:35am<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:03am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:10pm<b>n_g97</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:08am<b>Kikiers21042</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:23am<b>ILoveMyArm</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:37pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:40pm

B5B0N35's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

by cheated / 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

by ... cheers / 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy