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B4rn3yST1NSON

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B4rn3yST1NSON
  • Town/Country : Bat county?
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 113
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About B4rn3yST1NSON : Ice tea , House of cards , Top gear ,battlefield 4 , Johnny Rockets , waffles , Futicini Alfredo W/ chicken ,Plymouth cuda , lotus Ellise , EDMusic

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B4rn3yST1NSON's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34745) - you deserved it (5561)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you deserved it (6055)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (1706)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (1706)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (28552)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11466) - you deserved it (43821)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71229) - you deserved it (7972)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (57136)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52462) - you deserved it (16904)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

#227121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59094) - you deserved it (3146)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106767) - you deserved it (11163)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (6064)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (42253)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

#2411
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (1724)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:41am - love - by NJ - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8823) - you deserved it (29408)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)



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