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Azncrazy95's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Azncrazy95's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML
by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML
by ColoradoGirl420 / 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm / France / Health
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
by Haberdashing / 11/13/2013 at 3:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by icyrebel25 / 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by CurseYouSonyaLee / 11/12/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by lbg2msf / 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, while flying 2,000+ miles from New York to Salt Lake City, I realized that I forgot to ask… Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to…