AwkwardTurtle97

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Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 5:37am)

AwkwardTurtle97

6Fucked!

AwkwardTurtle97
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 888
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AwkwardTurtle97 : Follow me on Instagram: Patricks.Panty.Raid
Kik: ShadowBloodDrop
Bass
Violin
Singing
SpecialFX makeup
Colored hair
Peace, love and understanding

AwkwardTurtle97's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 2:52pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:18am<b>prajju99</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:07am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:24am<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:42pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:33pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:43pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:46pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:07pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:12am<b>lilcuz69</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:17pm<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:33am<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:05pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:53pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:17am

Fucked!<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:23pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:22pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:03pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:09am<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:32pm

AwkwardTurtle97's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of AwkwardTurtle97's badges

AwkwardTurtle97's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

by mainlineloser / 11/28/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

by SadAndDeaf / 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

by SadAndDeaf / 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

by SadAndDeaf / 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

by criley / 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

by jaquie0812 / 06/12/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

by tammy999 / 01/31/2010 at 1:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

by _RobotInDisguise / 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous