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Aw3s0M1randa's favorite FMLs
by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I… Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my…