AugustBurnsToast

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AugustBurnsToast

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 August 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3352
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AugustBurnsToast : Why hello there :o I love playing, writing, and producing music. As you can see, guitar is my main instrument. I enjoy many genres of music but I'm most passionate about hardcore. x)

My instagram is scottchessin if you feel like following or just wanna check me out ;p

AugustBurnsToast's page activity

Visits<b>LordTickledicks</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 7:57pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:59pm<b>Syruphs</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:11am<b>walid820014</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:52am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:43am<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:55pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:32pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 2:28am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:48pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:06pm<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 7:12pm<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:21pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Quiggles789</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:30am<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:53pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:43pm

Fucked!<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:39am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:18pm<b>magicdust95</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:12pm

AugustBurnsToast's FML badges

50 favourites

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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AugustBurnsToast's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

by sonofahypocriticalwhore / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML

by etmerda / 07/12/2012 at 6:31am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love