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Attacksloth

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Attacksloth

90Fucked!

AttackslothAttacksloth
  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3177
  • Number of comments : 353
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 18 posted

About Attacksloth : Married to a beautiful woman circa August 2nd 2014. I love reading. Grad student in history. I'm obsessed with studying human societies, past and present. I'm also a photographer and have been doing photography for about ten years. If I'm not shooting pictures or researching, you might find me on a golf course, or in a sushi restaurant.

Owner of cats, a dog, and a bunch of fish. The cats actually own us, but she likes to give us the pretence of authority... and of course, my wife owns me, like all smart men will say.

Attacksloth's page activity

Visits<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:36pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:21pm<b>canadaguy08</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:28pm<b>gimill517</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:37pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:14pm<b>hockeyy27</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:24pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:02am<b>puppies4life</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Livelife121</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:38am<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:13am<b>yaoi_chan</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:53am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:11am<b>trucker2</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:13am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Aubs3993</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:46pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:33pm<b>7liv7</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:17pm

Fucked!<b>puppies4life</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:25am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 8:15am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:41am<b>Futbol_Queen11</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:23pm<b>kieriancarter77</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:08pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:14pm<b>hypoxicischemia</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:58am<b>millagramssxe</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:41am<b>emilytheperson</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:03pm<b>StephC720</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:49am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:16am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:21am<b>charethcutestory</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:39am<b>mwali02</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:02pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:46am<b>NicholasLanier</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:17am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:40am

Attacksloth's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Attacksloth's badges

Attacksloth's favorite FMLs

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (3225)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (6083)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
106 comments

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45642) - you deserved it (5216)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (6235)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39162) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

#21119632
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (4544)

On 04/22/2014 at 1:31am - health - by Tomatoe Face - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53335) - you deserved it (14375)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (10459)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53960) - you deserved it (15056)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57768) - you deserved it (14433)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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