Attacksloth

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Attacksloth

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AttackslothAttacksloth
  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4049
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 18 posted

About Attacksloth : It's time to sleep in and spend money... and I'm all out of money.

Attacksloth's page activity

Visits<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 7:08pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 3:19pm<b>sabby7</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 11:52am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:49am<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 8:33pm<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:48am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:46pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:20pm<b>niccill</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:27am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:48pm<b>compensator</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:28am<b>leigh_xx</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 9:18am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:59am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:35am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:11pm<b>c0ffeeb3an</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 2:20pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 1:40pm<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 11:00pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 9:20pm<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:48am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:40am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:20pm<b>pasupathymuthu</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:36am<b>BlubberKing</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:02pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 4:58am<b>vsus98</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:50am<b>anonyferret</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:56pm<b>piercedbiatch</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:25am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:13am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:16pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:14am<b>YoungFlips</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 5:52am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:46pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:12am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 4:51am

Attacksloth's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Attacksloth's badges

Attacksloth's favorite FMLs

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

by Almost_Homeless / 04/23/2014 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2014 at 3:17am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

by only my life / 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

by wah wah "you raised him" / 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 11:26am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

by Tomatoe Face / 04/22/2014 at 1:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy