Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Aspen_Grace33

Offline (21 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Aspen_Grace33

0Liked!

Aspen_Grace33
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3089
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : 29 and living near St Louis, MO.

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>the_northerner</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:41pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:18pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:08pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:16pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:59pm<b>NomadicPie</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:14am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 9:45am<b>Eloxia</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:15pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:08am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:59pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 11:53am<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 7:09pm<b>NonoMeow</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 11:46am<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:30am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 6:45pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:29am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:18am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:54pm

Aspen_Grace33's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Aspen_Grace33's badges

Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

#21347835
76 comments

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29892) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML

#21347009
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (5195)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (4860)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (12848)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
94 comments

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17462) - you deserved it (11202)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML

#21345280
106 comments

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (2879)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: