Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Aspen_Grace33

Offline (14 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Aspen_Grace33

14Fucked!

Aspen_Grace33
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6265
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : Just turned 30!!! Live in Missouri, USA

I Love Lucy is my very favorite tv show of all time!!! Lucille Ball was a brilliant comedienne and that show is a timeless classic!!!

I work in retail...still....after 12 years...

I love talking to and meeting people from all over the world!!! My best friend actually lives in Japan!

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>racerboy102</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:41pm<b>Balphleair</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:41am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:06am<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:36am<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:59pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:49pm<b>Ahaddad123</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:17pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:03pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:05am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:32pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:11am<b>mcronin</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:04pm<b>DeeZeeMb</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 9:45am<b>HitlerLovingFag</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:32am<b>platypus546</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:32am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:52am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:01pm

Fucked!<b>dafuq1</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 6:49pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:34pm<b>fahadleo66</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:37pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:28pm<b>persianchick</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:36pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:28pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:51pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:11am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:00pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:42pm<b>lukian</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:20pm

Aspen_Grace33's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Aspen_Grace33's badges

Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23213) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

#21519950
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (1921)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:59am - work - by NotYourToy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

#21519039
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (3976)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML

#21519024
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (1579)

On 01/24/2016 at 7:57pm - work - by thrill house - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML

#21518840
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17503) - you deserved it (7247)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad let me borrow his phone while I wait for mine to get back from the shop. I guess he forgot to pass the news along, because within 4 hours I'd received a picture of my mom's tits. FML

#21518424
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (1822)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

#21518044
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (7662)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:47am - animals - by swag papi - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

#21517614
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (3225)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by Garfield - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

#21516257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally had sex after a year-long dry spell. It caused an ovarian cyst to rupture and ended up with me in the ER. I'm afraid to ever have sex again. FML

#21515546
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (12970)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

#21514651
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21498) - you deserved it (1684)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:06am - work - by midnightblade163 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

#21514376
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (1898)

On 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: