Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5833
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : Just turned 30!!! Live in Missouri, USA

I Love Lucy is my very favorite tv show of all time!!! Lucille Ball was a brilliant comedienne and that show is a timeless classic!!!

I work in retail...still....after 12 years...

I love talking to and meeting people from all over the world!!! My best friend actually lives in Japan!

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>platypus546</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:32am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:52am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:01pm<b>dafuq1</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 8:03am<b>Parkourlife30</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 3:01am<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:41am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:48pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:25pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Marcelb</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:17pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:44pm<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:29pm<b>andrewduncan</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:10am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Tyler1128</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:16pm<b>drcr</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:01pm<b>TCRII</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:30am<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 9:38am

Fucked!<b>dafuq1</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 6:49pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:34pm<b>fahadleo66</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:37pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:28pm<b>persianchick</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:36pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:28pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:51pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:11am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:00pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:42pm<b>lukian</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:20pm

Aspen_Grace33's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Aspen_Grace33's badges

Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14466) - you deserved it (1084)

On 11/26/2015 at 3:24pm - money - by NoBasement4U - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14563) - you deserved it (4601)

On 11/26/2015 at 2:57am - misc - by hating my life - United States

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (4204)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Stuby14 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (2302)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (1793)

On 11/19/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by auto boogie man (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (2752)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2607)

On 11/16/2015 at 1:44am - intimacy - by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (2298)

On 11/13/2015 at 11:32am - misc - by eyegouger15 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a salon to have my eyebrows waxed. During the application the woman sneezed. The wax is not water based, so no matter what they tried, it would not come out of my eyebrows. I now have to decide whether leave the noticeable brown wax in my eyebrows or wax them all off and draw them in. FML

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20711) - you deserved it (1436)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/09/2015 at 9:07am - misc - by Quendolin - Germany

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (4254)

On 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm - kids - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a man trying to get a screaming little girl into a van. I called 911 and ran over yelling at him. His wife then got out of the van and explained the girl was their daughter and they were just trying to make her go to school. FML

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (1704)

On 11/05/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: