About Ashdapple : Yo. I'm Ash and I like to complain and hear other people's rants. I also write sometimes and tend to watch anime.
Ashdapple's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Ashdapple's favorite FMLs
Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML
Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML
by Rowaelin16 / 08/22/2016 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML
by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by DFTBA but FML / 07/22/2016 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by aurora320 / 07/19/2016 at 3:50pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love
Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
by ThanksMom / 07/08/2016 at 3:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by quackers / 07/08/2016 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML
by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 12:23pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
Today, while I was lifeguarding a swim meet with over 100 patrons, a duck paid a visit to our pool. He sat down and a brown cloud surfaced in the water. He immediately flew off. My manager then made me put goggles on and scoop out the poop while everyone watched. FML
by 1sasafras1 / 06/17/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
by eebie jeebies / 05/30/2016 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by CANTTAKEMORE / 04/26/2016 at 6:24pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work