Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arxikist

Search for a member

Arxikist
  • Town/Country : The Great White North
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 544
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Arxikist : In sum, I'm basically a Football WR, Hockey RW. Atheist, Patriotic city-boy from Canada. I mostly use the app so I probably won't your message if you send me one. To avoid getting thumbs down from me do not mention/ do the following:

- Talk about yourself randomly
- Talk about peoples PP
- Talk about religion
- Say "lol", "haha", etc.
- Be stupid in general
- Don't kiss anyone's ass (especially DocBastard's)
- Don't fake you know the OP
- Don't fake you are the OP

Arxikist's last visitors

emsnice240MandyCat484ms_fancypantsclm123455

Arxikist's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Arxikist's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4636) - you deserved it (24090)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

#19361709
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8698) - you deserved it (17015)

On 03/28/2012 at 1:30am - work - by LiveGuard - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML

#19138758
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7332) - you deserved it (19752)

On 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by nevergettingajob (man) - Canada

Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML

#19138758
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7332) - you deserved it (19752)

On 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by nevergettingajob (man) - Canada

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18938) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML

#19122021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (6325)

On 02/20/2012 at 10:53am - love - by DBZ (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (5221)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (27218)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5436) - you deserved it (36185)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

#19024888
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (1586)

On 02/08/2012 at 6:27am - misc - by 3.14 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: