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Arni792

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Arni792

71Fucked!

Arni792Arni792
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7194
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Arni792's page activity

Visits<b>MomentoMori</b> - yesterday at 9:18am<b>haylburg</b> - yesterday at 1:16am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:46pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:57pm<b>dewberry2001</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:16am<b>Spdt5561</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:14am<b>alyssa81296</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:09am<b>gissyyyy</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:26am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:45pm<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:51am<b>tarebear81</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:11pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:20pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 6:42am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:49pm<b>kyhos</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>Emi1y</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:45am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 7:20pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:42pm<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:49am<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:23pm<b>llamaaduckk</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:32pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:13pm<b>wfacsc</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:15am<b>misfitunfit</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:24am<b>marianajade</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>rach0545</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:13am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:02am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:48am<b>hellpop</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:24pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:38am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:52am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:55pm

Arni792's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Arni792's badges

Arni792's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49238) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39595) - you deserved it (5485)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45044) - you deserved it (3709)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47745) - you deserved it (3162)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (46596)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (10724)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51384) - you deserved it (6692)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58387) - you deserved it (29093)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (28272)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63058) - you deserved it (23098)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (9158)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (3680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57905) - you deserved it (4406)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States



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