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Arni792's favorite FMLs
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by SilverZephyr / 01/16/2015 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by everysingleone / 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm / United States / Love
by Maiar / 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
by can't win / 01/13/2015 at 11:25am / Australia / Love
by loser / 01/08/2015 at 4:26pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
by anonymous / 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/08/2015 at 9:24am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML
by suspended / 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by rozsrredd / 07/08/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML
by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on… Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked… Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on.…