Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arni792

Online | Search for a member

Arni792

102Fucked!

Arni792Arni792
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8551
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Arni792's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:49am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:46pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:26pm<b>Montiphelia</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:06pm<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:14pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:15pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:09pm<b>mineller</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 7:18pm<b>LZ8448</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 6:56am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 5:21am<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:30am<b>exos_blackpearl</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:14pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:06am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:56am<b>shinyme</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:02am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:43pm

Fucked!<b>mineller</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:50pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:21am<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:17pm<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:42pm<b>jizzickle</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:21am<b>mkwayde</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:35pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:23am<b>kylie31</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:33am<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:45am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:51pm<b>CrazyConfusing</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:19pm<b>demonddm</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:18pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 1:56am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:11am<b>nishimehta</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 2:56pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:49am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 5:15pm<b>tiffanyslapp</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:06am

Arni792's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Arni792's badges

Arni792's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML

#21517718
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16659) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

#21484437
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (5467)

On 10/26/2015 at 12:42am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (10247)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

#21443301
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (2636)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by River (woman) -

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (2583)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (4646)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you deserved it (4101)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45278) - you deserved it (20999)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: