ArmoredSandwich

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ArmoredSandwich

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41277
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ArmoredSandwich's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:56am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:00am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:08pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 9:05pm<b>xTwister</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:34am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 1:57am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:22pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 10:22pm<b>beth12</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 9:22pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 4:44pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 4:31pm<b>o9tiffany</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 11:58pm<b>krazzygood</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 10:34pm<b>Hellokittygrl21</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 7:30pm<b>Ohnoitslindsay</b> - the 04/17/2009 at 7:40pm<b>coc0</b> - the 04/12/2009 at 8:21pm

ArmoredSandwich's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ArmoredSandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

by mylifesucks / 04/18/2009 at 3:20am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love

Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

by schoolgrlstaci / 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

by jonas_93 / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love