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Anumayis

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Anumayis
  • Town/Country : Haarlem, The Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1596
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Anumayis : I'm a girl. just thought the blue edge looked nicer. :)

Anumayis's last visitors

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Anumayis's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Anumayis's favorite FMLs

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (7245)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (16777)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (2954)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23111) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

#20069676
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3853) - you deserved it (21380)

On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

#20061527
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (1911)

On 09/07/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by poopexperttt - United States

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7884) - you deserved it (49127)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (7440)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)



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