Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7794
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Anumayis : I'm a girl. just thought the blue edge looked nicer. :)

Anumayis's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:22pm<b>ThatGuy622</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:55pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:37pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:35pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:19pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 3:04am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:59am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:17pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:32am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:15pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:50am<b>JohnnyKade</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:20am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:08pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:36pm<b>pissflap</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:36pm<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:47pm<b>limabean235</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:56pm

Fucked!<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 2:46am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:15pm<b>LightningVoltix</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:17pm<b>scotland1995</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:23am<b>fatman1970</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:18am<b>MUDD1979</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26am<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:05am<b>badkid91</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:58pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:39pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:41am<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:08pm<b>Sublimeguy82</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:37pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:40am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:52am<b>712sash</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:44am<b>Roskosity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:18am<b>Headcrab</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:47am

Anumayis's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Anumayis's badges

Anumayis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65860) - you deserved it (5721)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49913) - you deserved it (8155)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31036) - you deserved it (52104)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41121) - you deserved it (11300)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63692) - you deserved it (22495)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (80696) - you deserved it (4000)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55703) - you deserved it (9528)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62754) - you deserved it (11781)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45955) - you deserved it (12155)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47027) - you deserved it (8408)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (61878) - you deserved it (24256)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (75274)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: