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Anumayis

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Anumayis
  • Town/Country : Haarlem, The Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1616
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Anumayis : I'm a girl. just thought the blue edge looked nicer. :)

Anumayis's last visitors

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Anumayis's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (4304)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (7867)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58371) - you deserved it (8714)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (22442)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56515) - you deserved it (3966)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58744) - you deserved it (5038)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45692) - you deserved it (7638)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (45258)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (10169)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53061) - you deserved it (18209)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73146) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48957) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53082) - you deserved it (9597)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States



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