Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Anumayis

Offline (the 01/16/2016 at 12:47pm) | Search for a member

Anumayis

59Fucked!

Anumayis
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8323
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Anumayis : I'm a girl. just thought the blue edge looked nicer. :)

Anumayis's page activity

Visits<b>Mr_Brightside_</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:40pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:44am<b>samrompain</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:26pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:06am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:49am<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:48pm<b>crocks97</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:12am<b>classicalglass</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:27pm<b>allfingmadhere</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:22pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:35am<b>cmw3</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:21pm<b>iReadFML12</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:12am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:23pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:25am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:26am<b>Role448</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:10pm<b>PandaSmile</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:43pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:34am

Fucked!<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:44pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:06pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:48pm<b>allfingmadhere</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:23pm<b>iReadFML12</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:12am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:09am<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 2:46am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:15pm<b>LightningVoltix</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:17pm<b>scotland1995</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:23am<b>fatman1970</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:18am<b>MUDD1979</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26am<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:05am<b>badkid91</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:58pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:39pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:41am<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:08pm

Anumayis's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Anumayis's badges

Anumayis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52399) - you deserved it (17524)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54345) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48208) - you deserved it (3598)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61770) - you deserved it (39226)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77355) - you deserved it (4430)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

#20895300
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (13371)

On 09/25/2013 at 2:59am - love - by so_screwed - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52375) - you deserved it (9503)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69962) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45613) - you deserved it (10477)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46500) - you deserved it (4125)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (32720)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48848) - you deserved it (8992)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59766) - you deserved it (29689)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46725) - you deserved it (4348)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: