About Andrew6499 : Monster, ramen noodles, frozen dinners, and clif bar enthusiast. 16 but not to others. Favorite color is green but not like barf. Have a dog named Josie who's older than time itself. Message if you enjoy conversations with others.
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Andrew6499's favorite FMLs
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by brookenicolee29 / 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Love
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by boo8713 / 11/28/2012 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by roze198765 / 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Animals
by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML
by non believer / 09/23/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…