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Offline (the 09/26/2016 at 2:53am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1518
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Andr913 : I am going to read EVERY published FML ever...someday.

Andr913's page activity

Visits<b>TheLemonMan</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 11:23am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:16am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:34pm<b>livvylambchop</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:57am<b>KenzieRose77</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:45pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:14am<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:38pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:44am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:27pm<b>AlphaWolfAcidic</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:36pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:42pm<b>boomboxbob</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:28am<b>nelliegw</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:38pm<b>aedan12</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:09am<b>postmeridian</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:35am

Andr913's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Andr913's badges

Andr913's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

by SMCHR / 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm / Ireland / Animals

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

by Annakins / 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

by mugged / 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

by thatssickkk / 02/17/2010 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy