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AmyPond17's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
AmyPond17's favorite FMLs
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML
by RosesAreRed / 02/15/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by gassy / 02/12/2013 at 9:18am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love
by theawfulpresent / 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
by Dracoboxer357 / 01/05/2013 at 11:00am / Canada / Health
by annie_nk / 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Utah) / Love
by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
- Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned… Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a… Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything…