Amethyst888

Search for a member

Amethyst888

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17953
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Amethyst888 : My Moto:
"Start the day with a smile!
(it irritates people) :)

Amethyst888's page activity

Visits<b>riceballchink</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:36pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:49pm<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:28pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:06pm<b>aisg</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:25am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:28am<b>Val1020</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:33pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:17am<b>TheNew_Kid96</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:40pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:16pm<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:56am<b>turnabouttrial</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 9:03pm<b>MrsKent123</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:07am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 9:18am<b>Treyzania</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 11:12pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 3:33am

Amethyst888's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Amethyst888's badges

Amethyst888's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

by RR / 07/11/2009 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

by roar_shark / 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 7:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend comes and sits with us. Somehow the subject of getting it on comes up. My date then says "expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 12:46pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

by Safe / 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous