Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amethyst888

Search for a member

Amethyst888

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14408
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Amethyst888 : My Moto:
"Start the day with a smile!
(it irritates people) :)

Amethyst888's page activity

Visits<b>riceballchink</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:36pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:49pm<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:28pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:06pm<b>aisg</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:25am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:28am<b>Val1020</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:33pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:17am<b>TheNew_Kid96</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:40pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:16pm<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:56am<b>turnabouttrial</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 9:03pm<b>MrsKent123</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:07am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 9:18am<b>Treyzania</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 11:12pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 3:33am

Amethyst888's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Amethyst888's badges

Amethyst888's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (7996)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (3593)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7098) - you deserved it (33474)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35187) - you deserved it (5476)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (4112)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (1853)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
604 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (55367)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (19076)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (5776)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (9702)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (5265)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45584) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37150) - you deserved it (5504)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

#19173399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (4029)

On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: