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Amethyst888

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Amethyst888
  • Town/Country : Unicorn Paradise, Unicorn States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 6451
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Amethyst888 : My Moto:
"Start the day with a smile!
(it irritates people) :)

Amethyst888's last visitors

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Amethyst888's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (7634)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (4238)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3318) - you deserved it (30501) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5617) - you deserved it (15697)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (7413)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17985) - you deserved it (1445)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

#20114767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/13/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by pinkfreak94 - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (5153)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (3610)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (3692)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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