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Alvarortor

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Alvarortor
  • Town/Country : NOPEVILLE, Nopeistan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 July 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Alvarortor : You don't question me, I won't question you.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Alvarortor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (8028)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (10589)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (2555)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52446) - you deserved it (4802)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (16500)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (8621)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44016) - you deserved it (5087)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39031) - you deserved it (16419)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (5682)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (3740)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (16052)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (4251)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39477) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33605) - you deserved it (4745)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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