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Alostfart

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Alostfart
  • Town/Country : Stockholm, Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 February 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2664
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Alostfart : Hello!

You might wonder who I am and so do I! Anyway, I'm glad to see you! Or well that depends on who you are... Never mind :P

I'm a 15 year old pastafarian girl with a lot of humor! I live in Sweden but I've promised myself that I WILL NOT spend the rest of my life here.

I'm named alostfart cause that's kind of what we all are. Lost farts, flying around looking for the love of our life or the job... Of our lifes...?

Well I'm reading FML because seeing what other people are dealing with always makes your own life suck a little less right? ;)

Thanks for reading this! Bye stranger!

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Alostfart's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (3407)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (4736)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (5619)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13667) - you deserved it (2182)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML

#19321063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21602) - you deserved it (6848)

On 03/21/2012 at 4:13pm - money - by MoneyMoneyMoneyMonayMONAY (woman) - United States

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (59515)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (1762)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (11238)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17250) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (5865)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

#19316785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (3141)

On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17208) - you deserved it (4280)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

#19313948
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by Niles (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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