About Alostfart : Hello!
You might wonder who I am and so do I! Anyway, I'm glad to see you! Or well that depends on who you are... Never mind :P
I'm a 15 year old pastafarian girl with a lot of humor! I live in Sweden but I've promised myself that I WILL NOT spend the rest of my life here.
I'm named alostfart cause that's kind of what we all are. Lost farts, flying around looking for the love of our life or the job... Of our lifes...?
Well I'm reading FML because seeing what other people are dealing with always makes your own life suck a little less right? ;)
Thanks for reading this! Bye stranger!
About Alostfart : Hello!
Alostfart's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Alostfart's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
by Jayne / 03/29/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Health
by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
by andromeda80 / 03/28/2012 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML
by honeymooner / 03/28/2012 at 6:47am / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Money
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 2:57am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by ramis182 / 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML
by Sharkie49 / 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (California) / Money
by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
by JC / 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
by Shantwozzlah / 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…