Alostfart

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Alostfart

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6919
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Alostfart : Hello!

You might wonder who I am and so do I! Anyway, I'm glad to see you! Or well that depends on who you are... Never mind :P

I'm a 15 year old pastafarian girl with a lot of humor! I live in Sweden but I've promised myself that I WILL NOT spend the rest of my life here.

I'm named alostfart cause that's kind of what we all are. Lost farts, flying around looking for the love of our life or the job... Of our lifes...?

Well I'm reading FML because seeing what other people are dealing with always makes your own life suck a little less right? ;)

Thanks for reading this! Bye stranger!

Alostfart's page activity

Visits<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:26pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:05am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 2:10am<b>TechFire</b> - the 03/08/2012 at 8:34pm

Alostfart's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Alostfart's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttle cock that hit me in the eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML

by kawood / 03/30/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

by rozziepop / 03/30/2012 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

by jasonnn / 03/30/2012 at 1:00am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

by LassieToe / 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML

by scarletscarface / 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

by nicoleee / 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm / United States / Work

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

by no one / 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

by yelyah / 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML

by melonhead77 / 03/29/2012 at 7:46am / Cyprus / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

by toryzhere / 03/29/2012 at 7:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation