Alocer

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Alocer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1331
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Alocer : ...and here we have a profile... yep... it's that interesting...

Alocer's page activity

Visits<b>Anita2013</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 3:30pm<b>taywuhsaurusrex</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 9:17pm<b>RacialTension</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:42pm<b>SaxophoneHero</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:46am<b>mariab2898</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 12:13am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:27am<b>donralfles</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 10:35pm<b>harmonyjane22</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 10:03am<b>MVJESTIC</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 2:51am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 4:02pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:00pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:10pm<b>lolo717</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 12:55am<b>windell</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 9:44pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 1:22pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 11:21pm<b>D3ATHZ3RO</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 5:41pm

Alocer's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Alocer's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

by happyturtle / 10/10/2013 at 7:27am / Croatia / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

by hubby / 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

by BOHICA123 / 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

by Mike Messenger / 10/05/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

by joecool3426 / 10/03/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Money

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

by Sooz / 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love