Almost_Positive

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Offline (the 02/15/2016 at 9:54am)

Almost_Positive

4Fucked!

Almost_Positive
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Almost_Positive : Thank you for the fuck

Almost_Positive's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:41am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:06am<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:48pm<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 9:04pm<b>hummelbyhummel</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 2:08pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:22pm<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:41am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:11pm<b>photochick77</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Seafin</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:48pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 3:07pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:31am<b>CyanideCyan</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:39am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:32pm<b>minhas6096</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>catbat62</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:14pm<b>rouslov</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:37pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 7:06am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:48am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:02am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:14am

Almost_Positive's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Almost_Positive's badges

Almost_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

by Trapped. / 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

by triplenipple / 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Health

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 7:45am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

by alejandro38 / 07/11/2010 at 10:44am / United States (New York) / Work