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Allornone

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Allornone

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5692
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>ImmortalYu</b> - yesterday at 3:13pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:17am<b>ngsh95_</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:34pm<b>schindler12345</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:48pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:02pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:01am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:18pm<b>jforren</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:35am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:15am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:58pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:14am<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:22am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>Marshmallowjello</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:32pm<b>bb818</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:38am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:22am

Fucked!<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:58pm

Allornone's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

#17065483
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45988) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (21537)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (10739)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116731) - you deserved it (16524)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (41310)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (4444)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45698) - you deserved it (2900)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

#15035621
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (5583)

On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (4549)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54740) - you deserved it (4633)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

#14092737
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (3000)

On 12/05/2010 at 4:30am - misc - by momoffour (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

#13726348
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (47355)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm - kids - by lilmamma - United States (California)

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

#13699572
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (4445)

On 11/03/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by shunned (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

#13624123
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58171) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/28/2010 at 5:26am - love - by monogamous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

#13608435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (3865)

On 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by zzzgrady - United States (South Carolina)



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