About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.
Allornone's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Allornone's favorite FMLs
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
by Eliza / 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML
by unfriendlyskies / 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money
Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
by BigBangCheater / 04/01/2012 at 6:08am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
by littlekellilee / 03/08/2012 at 11:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by JeffeeBojangles / 02/28/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by JMcKay / 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by JellitonOctopus / 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm / Australia / Intimacy
by liLbob6598 / 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by aylla / 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…