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Allornone

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Allornone
  • Town/Country : Miami, FL, U.S.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1708
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder

Allornone's last visitors

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Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20640) - you deserved it (2280)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (16757)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (1833)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12689) - you deserved it (1109)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (3947)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (1988)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22334) - you deserved it (5117)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (1531)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (8171)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (2044)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12559) - you deserved it (31222)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38848) - you deserved it (2038)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)



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