Allornone

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Allornone

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AllornoneAllornone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7290
  • Number of comments : 157
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>AChaoticFray</b> - 12 hours ago<b>finished</b> - 14 hours ago<b>koink</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:23pm<b>Kane58</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:01pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:01pm<b>burgermike92</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 8:00pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:05pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:51am<b>RedMosquito</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:06am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:52pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:48pm<b>Jxce</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:32am<b>kmtorre2</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 11:26pm<b>Rotciv01</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 9:08am<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:13am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:44pm<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:12pm

Fucked!<b>AChaoticFray</b> - yesterday at 1:53am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:01am<b>koink</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:42am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:17am<b>Rotciv01</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:08pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Grisha</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:43am<b>XandWacky</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:11pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:09am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:24am<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:50am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:05pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:21am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>Sirin</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:29am<b>mnurfles</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:05am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:32pm

Allornone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

by Kendra_Nine / 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

by niki / 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

by Sarah / 12/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

by Username / 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

by WentInABush / 11/15/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML