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Allornone

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Allornone

40Fucked!

AllornoneAllornone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6593
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. Eventually, I will die. In the meantime, I lurk on FML.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>catsbeforeyou</b> - 20 hours ago<b>oasis359</b> - yesterday at 3:13pm<b>Cyntha</b> - yesterday at 7:05am<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:32am<b>bigirlsrockoxox</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:35pm<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:52am<b>ajahchenae</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:51pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:08am<b>LonelyLulllaby</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:45pm<b>lukian</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:32pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:11am<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:37am<b>panromantic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:33pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:52am<b>samwilliams800</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:57am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:57am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:21am<b>kdkb36</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:44am

Fucked!<b>Cyntha</b> - yesterday at 1:05pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:21am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>Sirin</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:29am<b>mnurfles</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:05am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:32pm<b>nitros15</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:01am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:51pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:45am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:48pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:40am<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am

Allornone's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (3747)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (4571)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (5548)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (1767)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (3067)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (11090)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45610) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (2632)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30538) - you deserved it (2628)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36817) - you deserved it (2658)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (44536)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38858) - you deserved it (3213)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)



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