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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6170
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:53pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:02am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:04pm<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:57am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 7:47pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:25pm<b>RoastCity</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:03pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:20pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:29am<b>Huodang2</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 7:39am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:07am<b>MassiDelta</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:34pm<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:37am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:39pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:48pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:40am<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm

Allornone's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (81073) - you deserved it (4021)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62627) - you deserved it (4130)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60937) - you deserved it (4392)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52632) - you deserved it (6773)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML


I agree, your life sucks (50922) - you deserved it (3392)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54281) - you deserved it (3716)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML


I agree, your life sucks (72599) - you deserved it (4448)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML


I agree, your life sucks (66316) - you deserved it (5358)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (3189)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML


I agree, your life sucks (53437) - you deserved it (7486)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML


I agree, your life sucks (69162) - you deserved it (4262)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64644) - you deserved it (21242)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (5131)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46522) - you deserved it (4646)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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