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Allornone

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Allornone

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5675
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:17am<b>ngsh95_</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:34pm<b>schindler12345</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:48pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:02pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:01am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:18pm<b>jforren</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:35am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:15am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:58pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:14am<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:22am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>Marshmallowjello</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:32pm<b>bb818</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:38am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:22am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:50pm

Fucked!<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:58pm

Allornone's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (34225)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11558) - you deserved it (38513)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (8626)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (4768)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94033) - you deserved it (15867)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

#5579779
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43045) - you deserved it (2064)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64545) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (5302)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML

#5192617
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (2222)

On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (45325)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60849) - you deserved it (18121)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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