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Allornone

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Allornone
  • Town/Country : Miami, FL, U.S.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1667
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : "I know i was born; I know that I'll die... -vedder

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Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

#992330
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66861) - you deserved it (11701)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62168) - you deserved it (16981)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49397) - you deserved it (598210)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76714) - you deserved it (13871)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66893) - you deserved it (15580)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

#293616
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81389) - you deserved it (3166)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (59149)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (1086)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I did a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months work file helped make the best sausages I've ever done. FML

#164
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13077) - you deserved it (23726)

On 10/30/2008 at 10:51am - work - by Sam - Canada (Quebec)



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