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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6176
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:53pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:02am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:04pm<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:57am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 7:47pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:25pm<b>RoastCity</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:03pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:20pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:29am<b>Huodang2</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 7:39am<b>cornyrob</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:07am<b>MassiDelta</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:34pm<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:37am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:39pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:48pm<b>klawzor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:40am<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm

Allornone's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48920) - you deserved it (5241)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57871) - you deserved it (3704)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45376) - you deserved it (7020)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60960) - you deserved it (3668)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48175) - you deserved it (3712)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (3282)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45640) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58306) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63205) - you deserved it (5821)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51238) - you deserved it (24752)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48153) - you deserved it (9404)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52725) - you deserved it (8873)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53399) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65156) - you deserved it (4498)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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