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Allornone

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Allornone

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5669
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:17am<b>ngsh95_</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:34pm<b>schindler12345</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:48pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:02pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:01am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:18pm<b>jforren</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:35am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:15am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:58pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:14am<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:22am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>Marshmallowjello</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:32pm<b>bb818</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:38am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:22am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:50pm

Fucked!<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:17pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:16am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:52pm<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Renee4Echelon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:58pm

Allornone's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47639) - you deserved it (3680)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47300) - you deserved it (3255)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45163) - you deserved it (3183)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57782) - you deserved it (4868)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62702) - you deserved it (5772)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50763) - you deserved it (24494)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (9335)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (8819)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52835) - you deserved it (3956)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63312) - you deserved it (4355)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76449) - you deserved it (3868)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61987) - you deserved it (4081)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60427) - you deserved it (4353)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49511) - you deserved it (6484)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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