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Allornone

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Allornone

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5105
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Allornone : I was born. I'm sure, at some point, I will die.

Allornone's page activity

Visits<b>jessieluvxo</b> - 23 hours ago<b>IamHercules</b> - yesterday at 11:41pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:39am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:43pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:26am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:17am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:54pm<b>zombieplatypus</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:00pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:05pm<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:14am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:21am<b>jenjen2633</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 1:28am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:36pm<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Xeebar</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:04pm

Fucked!<b>sevazilla</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>ironik69</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:57pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:58pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:23pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:32pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:54am<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 5:35am

Allornone's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Allornone's badges

Allornone's favorite FMLs

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
96 comments

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28622) - you deserved it (5105)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53368) - you deserved it (10745)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47788) - you deserved it (6393)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48255) - you deserved it (5579)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61787) - you deserved it (4774)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (4945)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56001) - you deserved it (3580)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44200) - you deserved it (6855)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59155) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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