Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AlliTheKat : So about me you say? Well...

I'm a lady of 19 years
Of the average height and the average fears
I love hockey, the LA Kings
But this is just to name a few things
I love it when they drop the bass
I love to dance, just name the place
I love SirBizzle
He's off da hizzle
Poor rhyme, I know
But it just goes to show
I can make anything rhyme
If I just take the time
I love to write, I can make you feel
Feel the emotions as if the plot were quite real
I like creepy things, the Bates Motel
I'm kinda dorky, have you noticed, can you tell?
I love to laugh, but I'm very sad
That there won't be anymore Breaking Bad
I like to be social, but I'm a bad texter
Cuz I'd rather sit and watch, that one show named Dexter
Sometimes I like to just lie in bed
And binge watch all of The Walking Dead
That's some of me, so I'll leave it up to you
Message me, it's nice meet you, how do you do?

Hockey fans; let's be friends :)

AlliTheKat's page activity

Visits<b>Matheo</b> - yesterday at 5:18pm<b>Kevin_shifu</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:12am<b>lild343</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:09pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 11:29pm<b>redwings1340</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:58am<b>zschul1118</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:13pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>shjoh</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:45am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:18pm<b>Paigee24</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:05am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:19am<b>josh_avila9</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Mc_chipler</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:48am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:53pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:50pm<b>172pilot</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:38pm

Liked!<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:22am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:03am<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:08pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:51am<b>byattwain</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:06pm<b>lilcuz69</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:16pm<b>smittyboy123</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:52pm<b>awesomedog</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:43am<b>hockeybear77</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:57pm<b>master_disaster</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:41pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:28am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:56pm<b>michouchoubou</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:16am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:21am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:14am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:54pm

AlliTheKat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of AlliTheKat's badges

AlliTheKat's favorite FMLs

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML


I agree, your life sucks (17728) - you deserved it (1222)

On 03/05/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by cheshirealyce (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (1829)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:15am - health - by novaguy - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29818) - you deserved it (7566)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (3315)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (3108)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (7088)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (12895)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, my ex boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/24/2014 at 4:49pm - love - by single - United States (Utah)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32772) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (4233)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (3158)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (2625)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (8311)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: