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Offline (the 11/26/2015 at 2:18am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 July 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1190
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AllKnowingTurtle : I realize that creativity is looked upon in this section. Honestly, I'm just trying to fill the blank spaces up.

AllKnowingTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:27pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 7:01am<b>alice2lacy</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:01am<b>iglesia</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:28pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:32am<b>EyRaB</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ZynexFin</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:00am<b>MacWorms</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:31pm<b>KuronoEru</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:23am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:20pm<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:47pm<b>Jord_Fox</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:49am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:32pm<b>shaaza</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:53am<b>RuBloKon</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:36am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:53am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:40pm<b>ElEsThoCle</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:59pm

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:27am<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:47am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:47am<b>shaar</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:44pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:09am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:09pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:14am<b>kylie31</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 2:27am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:01am<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:02am<b>btrag97</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:02pm<b>TheKaseReibe</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:48pm

AllKnowingTurtle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of AllKnowingTurtle's badges

AllKnowingTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

by betrayed / 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

by justthinkofyourhand / 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

by Sun_Kissed18 / 07/09/2014 at 3:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

by madamefuxalittle / 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

by Charitable / 06/30/2014 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Money