Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/26/2015 at 2:18am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 July 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AllKnowingTurtle : I realize that creativity is looked upon in this section. Honestly, I'm just trying to fill the blank spaces up.

AllKnowingTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>alice2lacy</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:01am<b>iglesia</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:28pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:32am<b>EyRaB</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ZynexFin</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:00am<b>MacWorms</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:31pm<b>KuronoEru</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:23am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:20pm<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:47pm<b>Jord_Fox</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:49am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:32pm<b>shaaza</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:53am<b>RuBloKon</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:36am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:53am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:40pm<b>ElEsThoCle</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:59pm<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:07pm

Fucked!<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:47am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:47am<b>shaar</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:44pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:09am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:09pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:14am<b>kylie31</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 2:27am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:01am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:44pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:02am<b>btrag97</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:02pm<b>TheKaseReibe</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:48pm

AllKnowingTurtle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of AllKnowingTurtle's badges

AllKnowingTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (2969)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (8120)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59076) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43564) - you deserved it (4780)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (4048)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (4402)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54406) - you deserved it (8544)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: