AliceWhovian

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AliceWhovian

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2421
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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AliceWhovian's page activity

Visits<b>cjseagraves</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:12pm<b>sharkvader</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 1:07pm<b>Near_Nomy</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 1:00pm<b>WaffleKiller</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 9:01pm<b>TomPusslicker</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:23am

AliceWhovian's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of AliceWhovian's badges

AliceWhovian's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

by =( / 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

by kaheera4 / 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

by Sad Nerd / 04/02/2014 at 4:20am / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

by Maxime / 02/27/2014 at 7:32pm / Love

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

by AnonWife / 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Health

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

by jhulich / 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.