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AliceTheBlue's favorite FMLs
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work
Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML
by ... / 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Love
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by H1dd3n / 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm / Switzerland (Sankt Gallen) / Love
by FML136969 / 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
by SierraCheyenne / 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…